Only a few people know, but before I got pregnant with Baby, I had a very early miscarriage/ possibly chemical pregnancy. It happened very very early on (which is why I always suspected chemical pregnancy). Husband and I were in Maui on vacation, and I remember getting a very faint positive. I took the test at sunrise. I was so happy. I bought a little wood necklace that I wanted to give to that baby someday. A day or two later, everything changed. I felt okay, if a little shocked, while we were in Hawaii, but as soon as we got home, I started feeling really depressed. It was December. I spent most of that month at home. One day I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and from my car, saw a mom and baby in the parking lot. I cried and went home. Those were hard days. I wondered if I would ever have a baby.
I read somewhere that fertility is often very high following a miscarriage and that if there's no health reason not to (there wasn't for me), to try again for a baby soon after. So we did and I think it was the cycle after the miscarriage that I became pregnant with Baby. It was the very end of January. Getting pregnant with Baby is what made me feel all better. I have never felt bad about the miscarriage since then. All the gloom and depression disappeared.
I also went to acupuncture for fertility treatments, and to boost up my energy/immune system.
And when I got pregnant with Baby, I started to bond with her right away. This was a very conscious decision on my part. Unfortunately, I think it's become this sort of normal phenomenon for moms not to bond with their babies during the first 12 weeks-- I'm sure out of fear of losing the baby and then having to deal with the loss. But my feeling is that it will only help if mom and baby bond from the very beginning. I wish western medical doctors encouraged this. I do think it's healthy and very beneficial to the mom and growing baby to experience the love and bonding from the get-go. In the sad event that a loss does occur, mothers can have some comfort in the bond they shared with their babies, even if for a short time. Denying the excitement of pregnancy and bonding could, in the case of a loss, contribute to a mother's sadness, grief and guilt. Many many women have miscarriages. I wish, in hindsight, I had told more people about it. I think it would have helped me.