D is asleep in bed, and husband and I are downstairs watching tv, enjoying the cool quiet night. The neighbor's frogs are noisy and I love listening to them. I had to close the sliding door in our bedroom (that leads to the balcony) so the frogs don't wake D up.
I've mostly stopped reading the old blogs I used to look at (not counting friends' blogs). SouleMama for example, and many others. All the blogs primarily about moms who have all these hours in the day to make popsicles at home, sew their children's clothing and knit their socks, tend chickens, make their own graham crackers, have meticulously beautiful homes with not a thing ever out of place. I guess it makes me annoyed! My life is not like that, it can't be, and I'm okay with that. I guess when I see these other blogs, my gut feeling is they can't be real. How can you have children and have time for all that? How does a picture of your living room not have socks, balls, dog toys, half-eaten pretzels and squeezie pouches, and baby toys everywhere? When I have free time, depending on how tired I am, I might take the kayak out on the river, or like tonight I might sit on the couch next to Pug and watch TV. Other times, I clean or organize or shower. Sometimes I read. I have dreams of writing again, and I do a little sometimes. When the babysitter comes, husband and I go on a walk or have a picnic or go out to dinner. In the recent past when my back was hurting, I'd go to the chiropractor, and back in February and March, to the acupuncturist. Husband and I have taken to calling my former craft room the attic. For a while it pained me to think of my unused fabric sitting in there. Now I'm okay with it.
Anyway, one blog I've been looking at on and off over the last year is the Road is Home. It's probably one of the loveliest little blogs I've ever seen. Stunning photographs. Beautiful writing. It's about a very young family and their baby. I just love it.
Meanwhile in our neck of the woods, I am finally starting to have D try to take naps in her toddler bed. She is 18 months old and she has always napped next to me in bed. She still nurses to sleep-- we will be nursing for as long as she wants, I think-- so I didn't know how this transition would go. I felt and still feel a bit unsure about the transition. Sometimes I think, she's only so little for a tiny speck of time. But since she sleeps with us at night too, it's okay if she sleeps in the toddler bed for the nap. Day One went better than I imagined. I explained to her that she's a toddler now and this is her toddler bed. I told her I would be by her side while she slept (mostly true-- when she fell asleep, I moved to the rocking chair across the room). When she cried, I held her and we hugged. I did not want to leave her to "cry it out". It pains me too much and it distresses her, and I want to be there for her. So I held her while she cried. We read a book about guinea pigs, then I nursed her in the toddler bed (me sitting by the side-- it worked). She fell asleep and stayed asleep for 30 minutes. Today she slept for 35 minutes. Success! We sleep very well together at night, most nights. Last night she got 11 hours of sleep, and typically she gets around 11 these days. I enjoy having her close to me at night. We have a king bed, so there is plenty of room for the three of us. Sometimes she scoots close to me to nurse, and other times for long stretches of the night, she sleeps a foot or so away from me. We all like the arrangement.
I like this book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" for alternate ideas to the "cry it out" method. I also have the "no cry nap solution". But any of this can be done without a book and just with your gut! That's how I came up with our nap transition. I knew in my heart I didn't want it to be too hard on her, and I didn't want her to experience this drastic change on her own. It feels right to me to do it the way I'm doing it, just as it feels right to me to still nurse her and still co-sleep.