We went to the Portland Old Time Music Gathering yesterday and took baby. It was downtown at the Scottish Rite Center. Oh how I loved it! We heard such wonderful music. We went to Leela Grace's concert, but baby was too active to want to stay still so we wandered around and listened in on folks practicing in the stairwells! Holy cow, amazing music was being made. Very inspiring. I'm getting my fiddle back out today!
In other news, I've spent a lot of time pondering things lately, mostly motherhood, my relationship with my mom, and what kind of mom I want to be.
This is my favorite quote these days: "There's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one." I remind myself of that quote a lot because I have struggled with trying, and failing, to be a perfect mother. Truth be told, I'm worried about not being a good enough mother. Other people would probably think I'm at the far end of the spectrum in terms of time/emotion/energy spent on baby. I take very little time for myself. I a m by her side for nearly all her naps (so she can nurse). We co-sleep. I'm big into babywearing.
But I still haven't watched a movie since I had her! I've neglected my writing, crafts, basically most of my interests.
I have a lot of guilt though if I think about doing those things... But as my very wise husband said, it is impossible to be there 100 percent for baby, and do everything I want for myself. I need to decide how much to give to her and how much to leave for myself. I do need to give myself a little more time.
So, inspired as I was by the music yesterday, I decided to sign up for a clogging class. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time! And I'm getting that fiddle out and we'll see if I can remember any songs. Hopefully I'll be playing Cripple Creek again in no time!
Oh, and I came across this list for moms.
